"To regain peace - Acute phase" > 자유게시판

-10 months after onset-

Five months after being discharged from the hospital,

my wife was somehow managing to work from 7pm to 10pm amidst the repeated unstable waves.

One day, she called me crying.

"I'm so nervous I can't work."

"They told me I could go home...I can't do this anymore."

"Just working is amazing enough, so it's okay."

My comfort over the phone was in vain,

and when I got home, my wife suddenly got down on her knees and begged me.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I can't work."

"It's only been three hours, it's pathetic."

"It's amazing that you're working right after being discharged from the hospital."

"You don't have to try so hard."

"You can quit."

"I don't want to quit."

"It's not because of the disease, I'm just not good enough."

I remember how heartbreaking it was to see her crying and begging me.

She said this a few times,

but I continued working as usual.

I think she wanted to be helpful, even if it was a little difficult.

When the waves were calm, my wife suddenly asked me.

"Aren't we going fishing or playing slots like we used to?"

"Huh?"

I was surprised because I had already lost the idea of ​​going out and having fun, leaving my wife alone, who was feeling tired and scared.

"I feel sorry for you, you're always thinking about me."

"I want you to do what you like sometimes."

My wife said.

For me, stabilizing her symptoms was also for my own good, so I didn't feel sorry for her...

"So, shall we go fishing together?"

"Can I come with you?"

In the end, I was still worried, so I decided to go with her.

Before she got sick, my wife had said she wouldn't go fishing, but she seemed to be looking forward to it, which was a strange feeling.

However, because of the time before she was hospitalized, I was a little worried just thinking about the beach.

A few days later,

I went to the beach on a weekday during my free time.

My wife had a small rod for drop casting

I had an eging (squid fishing) rod

I taught her how to reel it in,

and when I attached bait to her rod and let it drop,

"It's twitching! What should we do?"

"Try reeling it in."

"There's something!"

It was a small pufferfish.

After that, my wife caught poisonous fish one after another, such as a northern pufferfish...

"Can you eat this?"

"It's poisonous, so you can't eat it."

"What?"

My wife, who hardly ever laughed anymore,

smiled a little.

Seeing my wife so engrossed,

I felt at peace.

Her shoulders were tense,

she was peering at me so intently that she was about to fall.

I thought that the life she had before her illness was luxurious,

and that leisure on holidays was out of the question.

But there,

a scene reminiscent of those peaceful days was happening.

By the way, I didn't catch anything...

When we got home, my wife said, "You might not be able to hear me if you're concentrating on something." I felt like I had gotten a little hint that directing my attention outward might be the key to curing the disease. -Present- (2 and a half years after onset) -Recovery phase- "Shall we go fishing?" "Eh... it's cold, you can go." That's just how it is. If she hadn't developed schizophrenia,

my wife probably would never have gone fishing in her life,

and I really think that it was a miracle.

It was my day to go to the hospital for nasopharyngeal inflammation,

I went right after the night shift on my day off,

but since it was by appointment,

there was almost no waiting time.

"The antibiotics aren't that great either."

"You have a lump in a slightly unusual place behind your pharyngeal passage, which is rare!"

I was forced to find out the unwelcome rarity,

and the doctor said,

"Shall we do B-spot therapy?"

(I've already researched that therapy.)

This therapy involves applying zinc chloride from inside the mouth to the back of the nose,

which scrapes the mucous membrane and stings,

but it wasn't that painful.

It's the first time, but I'm not sure if it will really help.

Then, after a few hours,

my nose won't stop running, I wonder why...

I'm running out of tissues...

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